Demonize Ex-Drug dealer finds Jesus
Hi my name is Joshua Saetern, this is my testimony of how I found God. I grew up in a family of Taoist, my grandfathers on both side of my parents are shamans. I really never believed in it because I never did understood it, all I knew was that they were praying to ancestor spirits, well that’s what I thought at that time. Ever Since I was a young kid I always wonder why or what we are doing here on earth, I wanted to know the purpose and true meaning of life. As a young kid I was perverted and lusted after woman, I didn’t know why, then later as I grew older I started to have hate and anger in me, I was bitter and angry all the time and I couldn’t control it. I started to rebel from my parents and disobeyed everything they said, I just didn’t care about any discipline or rules anymore. One day my parents had family over and they we’re holding a ceremonial prayer to the ancestor spirits, they burned spirit money, sacrificed a pig, and built a bridge for the prayer. I came home and I found my money missing so I blew up in a rage and I was full of anger, I tore everything they had built for the spirits I broke everything I could, I was so angry I grabbed a bottle of liquor and took off I was just 14 at this time and my life started going on a down hill path. I started to smoke marijuana and drink hard at the age of 16, I also started to sale marijuana so I can smoke more of it. I was constantly ditching school on a daily basis to go smoke marijuana I just didn’t care for any authority or rules no more, then I ended up dropping out of high school my jr year. I got a job with my dad after dropping out of high school but I had also picked up smoking meth, all my money went to meth I pretty much did it for 6 months and realize that I wanted my teeth so I stop doing meth but I didn’t stop drinking, smoking marijuana or distributing marijuana. By the age of 17 I got my first Dui after that happened I kind of shy away from hanging out so much but I was still smoking marijuana and distributing, at the age of 19 I got my second Dui which lead me to really stop hanging out and drinking. I got a job again as a security guard but my life was not what I expected, I was still angry, depressed, full of hate, rebellious, disobedient and lost. So I started to seek after religion, I started to look into all types of religion and culture, what I found out was that all the books or bibles in all the cultures had similar stories just different names of characters in it, one thing I didn’t catch at that time was that the Christian bible was the only bible that claimed that the son of God came down to earth and died for his people. So I pretty much did that for a while and I was so lost, then one day a Christian brother came and knock on my door I opened it and he said to me sometimes were lost and we need help or something like that I cant really remember but I over looked it and shut the door on him, now looking back it was God trying to save me little did I know. Couple months went by and I got an opportunity to start transporting and distributing drugs again so I took it, only different this time was I was making bigger amount of money, so I did that for a while and I started to have money I quit my job and went full time dealing drugs. After a while money got bad, I was struggling and stressing hard at that time, there was this physic spot just right around the corner from where I stayed at so I decided to go in there to get my future told, then the lady ask me if I wanted prayers for anything I said yeah to be successful. Little did I know that down the line Satan was gonna give me a bunch of money. 3 years after that prayer money was just coming left to right, everywhere I went I made money it was so easy, I dedicated my whole life to hustling, I put all my heart and drive into it, at that time money was my God. I was happy at that time because I had money but I was still angry, hateful, I started to spend the money I had on all my fleshly lust, I did drugs, I tricked and slept with tons of women, bought sport cars, champion bred dogs, nice clothes, shoes, etc.. I bought anything and everything I wanted but nothing took away my sadness, depression, hate, anger, wrath and the void in my heart, every time I felt down or bad I seek out for more material things or a high off drugs or drinking but it never lasted and always left me feeling worst in the end, it got so bad I was doing so much mdma, molly, pills at the time I was suicidal and I gotten so paranoid from distributing drugs that I thought people was always out to Robb me or the police was trying to get me so I always had a pistol glocked and ready to war out, I was not going to prison or about to get got by someone else. So after some time of being paranoid and suicidal I began to start having weird things happening to me at my house like at times I be sleeping and I get a tapping on my shoulder like someone or something was playing with me, I pretty much ignored it until my nephew came over and spent the night, we both woke up at the same time I felt something screamed at me and I looked over to him and his face was gloomy like something just happened so I asked him what happened? he said I felt something or someone tapped on my shoulders and woke me up, at this point I knew there was something because I never told him about any of this and he just told me the same thing I been feeling. So I started to get a little scared, me and my girlfriend at that time was also hearing bottles popping everywhere all over the house which was weird, I also have a surveillance camera looking out towards my front porch and we both seen tons of orbs just flying in front of the door all the time, I thought at that time I had ghosts in the house, little did I know they were demons. So after a while me and my girlfriend separated, I started to take more pills and things got bad I couldn’t sleep, I was still depress, angry, stress, etc.. but I really had a bad case of insomnia I felt like something was not letting me sleep at all, in a month I probably slept like 30hrs that’s how bad it was, So being in the world and not knowing Jesus at that time all the t.v. shows u see about ghosts like a haunting, I thought I needed to see a physic for help, not knowing it was an abomination to God, so I went to a psychic for prayer and help and nothing happen two days later, I went back and gotten a second prayer this time she circle around me with incents and had me breathed it in, she also gave me this shampoo to bath with, I went home that day thinking everything was about to be back to normal, later that night I took a bath and bathe in the shampoo she gave me not thinking nothing about it, I came out to the living room and layed down on the couch and sure enough I started to see a bunch of orbs flying around everywhere on my surveillance camera screen, it was glowing so much it formed a sand storm of orbs which apparated into an image of a grim reaper I believe. Link to the video of demon https://youtu.be/o9lUitC6ytY I got scared didn’t know what to do at that time but I took pictures and recorded it, I also called that psychic but she didn’t pick up till the morning and when she did she told me to ask for the arch angel Michael to come down and protect me, I didn’t even know at that time but I tried it and it didn’t work. I started to call other physics and I told her about what happened, she told me I got to be careful if u get a gypsy they usually put curses on you and told me to go get me my money back so I did but I now I’m still left with this demon in front of my house not knowing at that time God was calling me out of my dark life by showing me the spirit realm. So I got scared left everything and went to my sister’s house to do research, I called up a bunch of physics but this time I was seeking for natural born physics, I even got a hold of Barbra Mackey the famous physic that’s on the t.v. show a haunting. I got a reading from her and told her what happened, she told me to get Epsom salt to bathe in it because I was very stressed, I needed to calm down, she also told me to get frankincense incents to burn and told me that it would keep the spirits away but all that was a lie, one thing she did get right, she said I was in a small room, later on that day I went to see another physic and surely enough it was in a small room but this lady when she read my palm and did her card thing she was 100 percent dead on about me. I was like wow! she told me she can help me and that she could teach me how to meditate and open up my chakras or energy points but I was hesitant about it, lucky me that I was. I started to do researched about demons and watched videos, I found this guy that use to be an ex Satanist that came to Jesus, he said that physics put people on a spiritual lock, they keep having their clients come back because of the problems they are gonna keep on having down the path in their life, another thing he said was that they can read your palm and tell you things about you is because when you were born u were born into sin and already have spirits/demons attached to you already they been with you your whole life, what happens is that when you go to a physic, the physics are working with demons themselves which they sacrifice either their own blood or the blood of animals to get a contract with the demons and by meditating they can open their third eye inviting tons of demons into their body which gives them power to see and speak to spirits, so when the physics are so on point about what they tell you its because of the demons that’s been attached to you, your whole life and their demons communicate information. So I told the physic I’m gonna think about it and try a shaman instead, so I found this shaman lady and went to her she did a session with me and I went home and nothing changed the demon was still there, I did another session with her and this time when I closed my eyes God showed me there was 4 a cult persons with hoodies standing in a circle, I didn’t really know at that time but I thought to myself that was weird, so I left home and the demon was still there so I hopped online again and started to seek more on demons then I found this lady on YouTube and she had the same problem she was seeing spirits also, what she said was that she went to Jesus and learnt her authority that she had as a believer in Christ, she learned how to bind and rebuked the spirits, so I wrote down what she said and I started to pray and rebuke those demons pretty much every night. I kept on seeking about god and I found this scripture on line, it said not to seek man for help but seek God so I started reading the bible and watching hell testimony videos on you tube, I knew if demons were real they had to come from somewhere and hell is real also. I started to see all these people that died and went to hell and got brought back to life they all said that Jesus brought them back, some even had a heaven experience so this really drawned me more and more into seeking God, I started to look at all the Jesus testimonies on YouTube and sure enough tons of people were seeking Jesus and finding him, the most sinful and wretched people was getting cleanse/ saved and life changed by God, one after another I kept on watching their testimonies and every single one of them said if u want God bad enough to seek him with all your heart, cry out to him, ask him to manifest himself to you and he will come to you, every single one of them said when the holy spirit comes in your life u feel a calmness over you, after watching all these videos I knew I had to have God I wanted him bad and I needed God because I was sick. I started to read the bible everyday and started to fast from all the things of the world, I stop selling drugs, I stop smoking marijuana, I stop drinking alcohol, I stop watching porn, I stop masturbation, I stop watching t.v., I stop lying, I stop fornicating, I stop hanging with worldly people, I’ve isolated my self in my room pretty much and did a repentance prayer repenting of all my sins and I asked Jesus and the holy spirit into my heart. I woke up one day and I felt calm and I told my sister I felt a changed in me not knowing that the holy spirit was really in me at that time. I did this for about two months and God was just helping me through it but I did fall into sin twice but I repented and kept on trying by the end of the two months I got overwhelm and called up one of my buddies to try to go sale some drugs, I went to his house and he started to talk about pills which tempted me, I ended up calling a few people and got my hands on some pills I took two pills and smoked some marijuana, I had my mind set on fornicating so I hopped in my truck and starting to drive, I didn’t know it at that time but the holy spirit knew what I was gonna do and he convicted me so hard my mind went into a confusion for about 30 seconds I pulled over and I was saying to myself whoa! that was super weird! I think that was God trying to stop me but me being so high I over looked it and brushed it off. So I went to go sleep with this girl and when I did God showed me the spirits in her, I saw her face painted up like a Egyptian women. The makeup lines out to the sides of her eyes and I saw her tounge sticking out laughing, the outline of her body was projecting half an inch out from her body but I was high so I didn’t really paid to much attention to it at the time but looking back I knew what I saw. In the bible God says you are not suppose to have sex if you are not married because when you become one there is a transfer of spirits. So I was leaving and driving home, in the back of my seat I see this invisible dude sitting there I couldn’t see his facial features but I can see the silhouette of his body. By this time I been seeing spirits every night so I kind of got use to it, so i told him I’m not scared of you and I see you, I kept on looking at him next thing you know i was in a trance and God showed me a vison in the back seat of my truck, an apostle of Jesus Christ standing in front of a ministering stand with a bible opened and in the back another apostle with 7 other invisible men looking at me with a facial expression like you messed up, i didn’t know at that time the invisble men were demons. Matthew 12-43-45 when the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, i will return into my house from whence i came out, and when he is come. He findeth it empty, swept and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there, and the last state of that man is worse then the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation. So the next day pass by and I took some more pills, I asked God I want to see u but nothing happen the next day I was like man back to square one I kept on thinking about that vison I was like I think God wanted me to read the bible so I got the bible and started to read the bible and God spoke to me and convicted me through the bible the words bubbled up, it said I was gonna get judge by God, I got scared and threw the bible down went under the covers I was like if I’m going to hell I’m going back to my old drug dealing life, I shut my eyes and tried to sleep but the Holy spirit wouldn’t let me, the Holy spirit sent a thought into my head to have faith, I got back up, got down on my knees, wept and repented to God for my sins. I started to read the bible with all of my heart for about 6-8 hrs. God spoke to me again, he told me what to do to fix my problems, he also told me to have faith, so after reading for so many hrs. my tongue started to move it was the gift of speaking in tongues but I got tricked out of it by the demons that was still in me, they were sending thoughts to my head telling me it was demonic, so it went away. The next day or so I started to think about what God had said to me thru the bible, I started to do what God told me to do and every time I did so I felt a brightness and peace, joy that came upon me, i did about 5 times and each time i felt more joy, more brightness, more peace, more love at the 5th time God just poured out his spirit so much on me i felt like i was literally in heaven but on earth, the whole world was blurred bright, i was so much in a heavenly bliss i was running around telling everyone about Jesus. I was buying food for the homeless, helping them, giving money away. Then I got tricked outta of my joy by the devil because I didn’t really know the word at that time which is Jesus. God promise an abundant life but the devil will come lie, cheat and steal all your joy and happiness away you. After that I was beating myself up because I didn’t know what happen or what I done wrong, the Holy spirit lead me to watch this video on Genoark and he said if you have hatred for anyone, if you keep on having these thoughts circling in your mind about that person you held him in prison in your heart you must free him by forgiving him, so I got down on my knees and I told God I forgive him then those thoughts went away but that joy and blissful happiness didn’t come back, it just left me yearning more and more for God I just wanted it back so badly, God got me addicted to him. I couldn’t stop thinking about him day and night my mind was always on God. I just didn’t know how to get to him, I called pastor Paul told him what had happened and he said that I was not in the will of God but keep on seeking God and it will come back so i started going to a church and when I was there God was just talking thru the pastor to me and I was kind of scared because he knew things that I was thinking about in my mind when I was at home, but now I know it was all God reaching out to me helping me. I also heard God speaking out from my heart to tell me to go in front of the church but I was nervous so I ended up not doing it twice, afterwards I found out that God was just trying to help me break the demonic strongholds that the demons had in my life. I went home and beat myself up because I knew I was disobedient, got down on my knees, wept and repented yet again. Sinning and Sleeping around so much before I knew God I thought I had hiv but It was a spirit of fear holding me back from getting tested. God gave me the courage to go get tested and I came up negative for hiv but I have genital warts and herpes virus simplex 1, I get rashes and redness on my face. Lord I thank you for my genital warts and my herpes, thank you Lord for healing me thank you Jesus. Isiah 53-5 but he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are healed. So after that I was at home and I hopped on the internet and God brought me brother Genoark and God told him to pray for me for the infilling of the holy spirit, also to reignite the gift of speaking in tongues, so after he prayed for me the holy spirit took over and I got down on my knees, at this time I didn’t even know how to pray but the holy spirit prayed for me and I was worshiping God like the King of Kings, Lord of Lords that he is by the time I got up of my knees my legs was numb and I looked at the time, an hour has pass I was truly amazed the holy spirit is truly our teacher, guide and comforter thank you Lord for your spirit. Then God told brother Genoark to teach me how to use my tongues, when my tongues got ignited I prayed for a while and the devil came to me in my mind, he puffed up my pride showing me that I was pretty much Jesus of my time, he was downloading images of what I could do like healing the sick, growing out hands, growing out eyes, raising the dead, walking on water and I was suppose to bring heaven to earth. Little did I know at that time it was all a test and I failed badly, I kept on praying again and I prayed for the will of God in my life. I saw myself in prison getting raped by a huge black dude I got scared again, it was another test and I failed yet again, after that I kept on reading the bible and God spoke to me again and he said to be in the light witch means do not sin willfully, so I kept on reading the bible and seeking God, been praying with brother Genoark and the group till I met another Group of Christians Test of Believers and began to learn how to bind and rebuke demons from brothers and sisters. I felt the fire of God thru the internet and fell upon my body burn those demons from me, my whole body was numb and on fire which brought my faith even more higher God is everywhere. At this time I pretty much gave up everything but the demons came and oppress me, used food against me and oh man I lusted after food but God was always there helping me, I was eating so much I couldn’t stop so when I was driving to a restaurant to pick up some food God over heated my car about 4 times I pulled over 4 times let it cooled down I finally told my nephew lets turn around, go home, and get my other car. Right when I started to head home my car went back to normal, God is so amazing he is always there watching out for me but I just wouldn’t listen I stopped eating for two days and came back to eating lusting after food hard yet again, it got so bad that I fell back into sin took some pills try to control my eating, I kind of gave up for a couple of days but God he never gives up on you. God spoke thru a pastor yet again to reach out to me, he said I know if you live your own life you will not be happy, he said he knows all my dilemmas, all my problems and he has set up a life for me that I will be truly happy, I knew when he said that it was for me and I wept and repented to God yet again, I just thank God so much for his mercy and for grace. So after all that I flush down the pills but I still had lust problem with food I kept on eating until God pull this video on my laptop for me I know I didn’t look up that video it was fox book of martyrs. Showing how Christians back in the days sacrifice their lives for God and I couldn’t even sacrifice my food. It hit me and I fasted for two days again but I came back to eating yet again, this really shows you how much you need God’s help for everything I been lacking on praying at that time and was out of relationship with God. So when I was on the Group with brother Genoark he said he wanted to give me a bible name because my name Lo is to lowly lol. But for some reason I said I’m ok I rather fast and pray to God to name me, having my eating problem I was still lusting after food and I went to jack in the box to buy some burgers. I was thinking to myself God is gonna kill me lol. Then my change box from my car fell and scared the living crap outta me. That happen at the same moment I thought that, I knew God was trying to stop me but I went and got the burgers anyways. Came home and ate it then I began to pray in the spirit/tongues and I just kept on going for hrs. through the morning. Then I got down on my knees and ask God to speak to me and I heard “work”. So I started to pray more and worship him in singing with all my heart then I heard Joshua came to my mind, a small distill voice. I didn’t even know at that time I just kept on praying. One thing about God when he wants you to know something he will confirm and you will get his message, so I came in the house and my dad asked me to do the dishes usually I wouldn’t, but praying so much and being filled with Gods spirit I was just so obedient I wash the dishes, then my dad told me to go to Walmart and buy him some chicken. Went to Walmart bought the chickens as I was leaving this older gentleman about 70 years of age came up to the cashier and said Joshua that’s a nice name that’s from the bible. I knew instantly that was from God it was so amazing I was praying through the morning on my 29th birthday and God gave me my name Joshua the best birthday gift ever. Thank you lord!! After that it set me more on fire for God I kept on praying and singing to God seeking him with all my heart, mind and soul and he set me free. Ever since! I fell in Love with God. Even though we fall sometimes just remember God is always there to pick you right back up he never gives up on you so don’t give up on him. This is my testimony of how Jesus the King of Kings, Lord of Lords freed me, The Love of my Life. Thank you Lord Jesus!